


By a Thread

by DefeatedHorizon



Series: Helping Alex [1]
Category: Hellions (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Angst, Dawn of X, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Madelyne Prior (mentioned), Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues, Nathan Summers (mentioned) - Freeform, Rachel Summers (mentioned) - Freeform, Resurrection protocols, Scott Summers (mentions), Techno-Organic Virus (Marvel), summer house
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:41:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29368692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefeatedHorizon/pseuds/DefeatedHorizon
Summary: Alex has an other dissociative episode, with tragic consequences.This time, his family is involved.TW for (indirect) mentions of suicide.
Series: Helping Alex [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2160936
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	By a Thread

**Author's Note:**

> A warning - if you suffer from depression, anxiety, or dissociative disorder, some of what Alex is going through in the story may come off as triggering, so read responsibly.  
> Also, if any of what he is experiencing in the story resonates with you, please know that you are not alone, and that there is help. You matter. You are enough.  
> I wanted to write a story about the mental health issues that Alex is experiencing in Hellions. I have no personal experience or an extended knowledge of the specific type of troubles he is suffering from, and this work is not pretending to be anything else than fiction - this means that I am aware that it may be inaccurate in some of the ways it depicts these issues.  
> This story combines a lot of canons from DoX but also prior stories about Cable's past (the techno-organic virus), Gabriel/Vulcain's story and powers, Corsair's legendary parenting skills, etc.

The floor is hard, damp, dirty. 

Surrounded by rubble and covered in dust, mud and most likely blood, Alex lies there, shaking, from the cold and the shock and the confusion and the pain. He has just woken up, or maybe he has been awake for days, he cannot tell. Everything hurts, and he thinks that both his legs are probably broken, because he has not been able to stand up. His thoughts cannot seem to focus for long enough for him to really care. He lets out a whimper, then two, then ten, but absolutely nothing happens and nobody comes. Wherever it is that he is, nobody can hear him. He’s alone and he doesn’t remember anything, does not have any idea how long he has been here, or what happened. He tries to focus on the last thing he remembers, but he cannot even hold on to a memory. There may be tears in his eyes, or maybe blood. He does not feel the need to check which it is. 

Before his vision gets too blurry and he has to close his eyes, he catches a glimpse of a figure - a tall, athletic figure. He thinks he may have hallucinated it, so he forces his eyelids open again, and verifies that the figure is really here. He can recognize it immediately, for its broad shoulders and slim waist, but mostly for the fact that, in the end, it is always this figure, this body that comes to rescue him. No matter how much he screws up, no matter how far away in the universe he ends up losing himself, no matter how comatose or hurt or possessed Alex has become, it’s always Scott. It’s always his big brother who finds him, who brings him home, who makes everything right again.

It’s always Scott, so Alex tries to call his name, but all he manages is a throaty cough. The next time he blinks, the figure has moved closer, and Alex realises that though it is familiar and so similar to Scott’s in so many ways, it does not belong to his older brother.

“It’s over now, son,” his father says as he crouches next to him. He sounds sad and exhausted, and so unlike Corsair that it makes Alex frown and look again. But, through the curtain of blood and tears, he can barely distinguish his father’s face.

“D-dad,” he breathes, weakly. “What am I doing here? I-I don’t remember anything - I -”

“Shh. It’s over, Alex. It’s over now,” his father repeats, then he exhales heavily. Alex opens his eyes again, and only then realizes that his father has not come alone.

“Gabriel, please? He won’t be able to move on his own,” Corsair tells the newcomer, who nods as he kneels on Alex’s other side.

Alex feels himself being lifted by his little brother, not so delicately. He grits his teeth at the brutal pain that shoots in his legs with that movement.

“Gabe-” he starts, painfully, but his brother is not saying a single word, nor is he giving any indication that he is listening. He just hurries off with Alex in his arms, with their father close behind. 

It occurs to Alex that something is not right about all this. That Chris Summers does not need his son Gabriel to help him carry Alex. And that, in the event that he would find himself in need of a teammate for this kind of rescue mission, Gabriel would not be his first choice of a son.

That can only mean one thing.

“S-Scott,” Alex croaks dreadingly as they continue to rush out of wherever it was that he had been. They climb stairs after stairs for what seems like an eternity. Alex’s head is lolling against Gabriel’s biceps, and every movement hurts. 

“Where is Scott?” he pleads again, his voice muffled by the sleeve of Gabriel’s suit. Nausea hits him and he swallows to try to stop himself from being sick. He closes his eyes and winces. But neither Chris nor Gabriel reply.

It’s only once they reach the surface, once he feels the sun seeping through his skin and his energy finally starts to come back, once he starts feeling the plasma blasts threatening to rush, uncontrollable, out of his body, that he understands the real reason why Gabriel is here with his father.

He is not here as Gabriel Summers, Alex’s little brother. He is here as Vulcan, the omega-level mutant. One of the few people on earth able to stop Alex from _wreaking havoc_.

“Gabriel!” Alex shouts, this time. “Gabe, I can’t control it-”

“Yes, brother, I know,” is Gabriel's calm response. And all of a sudden, his eyes are burning and he places a hand on Alex’s chest. 

Things happen quickly, after that. The last thing Alex sees, before he goes limp in his little brother’s arms, is the building behind them collapsing.

\--- 

When Alex wakes up, he is lying on his bed in the Summer house. There is no longer blood in his eyes, so when he opens them to take a look around, he can see everything. He can see that both his legs are casted, and that he has been dressed with his containment suit, and that Gabriel is sitting here, next to the bed. He can see that everything else that was in his room is gone. He can see that the door is locked, and that there is a complex, heavy lock on the handle.

He clears his throat, hoping for a reaction from Gabriel, but his brother does not even turn his head. Alex knows that his little brother is currently suppressing his older brother’s power with his own, holding his plasma blasts at bay. But he also knows that, to his omega-level brother, the effort required for that is only slight. The strain on Gabriel’s face is due to the situation in itself, not the power that it requires. 

That fact, alone, is enough to induce a tremendous feeling of dread in Alex. 

“Am I on suicide watch or in custody?” he asks after a while. And it is probably not the best ice-breaker for a conversation after one gets rescued from the fifth sub-basement of a collapsing building, but it is the first thing that comes to his mind.

Gabriel gives a small nod, and there is no particular emotion on his face as he replies. “Both. Even though your legs are broken, we thought it was wiser, considering what happened. You are a danger to the entire world, yourself included, brother.”

One great thing about Gabriel: he does not know how to sugarcoat things.

Alex takes a deep breath. “What did I do this time?” he asks, intending to sound detached, as if the fact that Alex sometimes experiences dissociative episodes and becomes a psychopathic killer is something they all discuss casually. But in reality, it must be obvious, even to Gabriel, that he is terrified of the answer.

His little brother turns his head this time, and arches an eyebrow as he studies Alex’s face. He takes some time to consider the question. “You have no recollection,” he states, tonelessly.

“None,” Alex confirms somberly. “So, I got another episode. How long?”

“It took us a little under two days to find you,” Gabriel replies. There is a form of caution the way that he speaks, so unlike his brother that Alex’s heartbeat begins to race.

“Did I hurt Scott?” Alex’s voice is shaking. There is sweat on his brow and he feels small, so small and vulnerable. 

Gabriel does not seem to care. “Yes.”

“Is he… did I kill him? Did he die?” Resurrection protocols made the concept of death seem less final, but not less horrifying, and Alex is still petrified. Because there are no resurrection protocols for brotherly love, and Scott has already forgiven him so much, so many times.

“No. You did not hurt him in _that_ manner,” Gabriel continues. He shrugs a little. “I do not think you would be able to. Cyclops is more powerful than you are,” he adds, matter-of-factly.

That confuses Alex even more. “You said I hurt him.”

“You did.” 

Alex can feel his frustration growing. “Gabriel, I don’t understand. Please, tell me what happened -”

The sound of the door being unlocked interrupts the exchange. “Gabriel, we need your help,” says the voice from outside, with a tinge of urgency. Rachel’s voice. “He’s getting worse -” Gabriel nods without a word, and walks swiftly out of the room. Even from a distance, Alex can still feel his brother’s power controlling his own - that is just how powerful Gabriel is. 

Before she closes the door again, Rachel glances in the direction of Alex’s bed, and her eyes - _her bloodshot, puffy eyes_ , Alex notices - widen slightly. “Oh. I didn’t know you were awake,” she says tiredly. There are a lot of emotions in her voice, but Alex can tell that these emotions are not for him. If anything, Rachel is avoiding looking at him. “I-I’ll send someone,” she adds, and hurriedly, she closes the door and locks it again.

 _Someone_ turns out to be Logan, and it is rather obvious, rather rapidly, that the man is not happy. In fact, he looks ready to plant his claws into anything, and Alex is not too certain that this thing is not going to be him. 

He walks into the room and comes to stand next to the window, arms crossed in front of him.

“Logan,” Alex greets, hesitantly.

Logan does not look like he really wants to be here, and even less like he wants to have a conversation, but he grunts in response to Alex’s greeting, and Alex will take that as an acknowledgement.

“How is he?” Alex asks, cautiously. From Rachel’s earlier intervention, he can guess that Scott is not doing well, but then there is what Gabriel said, just before that. It all makes little sense.

“Nathan?” Logan asks, and the realization hits Alex like a ton of bricks: he did not harm Scott.

 _Nathan. I hurt Nathan._

Logan sighs. “He’s lost control of the virus. He’s dying.” 

“No-” Alex shakes his head. “No! Logan, I don’t- I didn’t- I wasn’t- I don’t remember anything, I-”

Logan is working his jaw. “We know. Emma scanned your brain already. We know.”

Alex feels the tears at the corner of his eyes. He lets them fall. He has never been good at controlling his emotions. At controlling anything. And now -

After a long silence, Logan goes on. “Emma thinks Maddie… she _knows_ Maddie did something to you before - you know. Left something in your mind, made you do this to him… to her own _boy._ ” He clenches his fists.

Alex forces himself to look up. To be strong. 

“What did I do to him?” He needs to know. It will not make anything better, but he needs to know the details. 

“We’re not entirely sure about that, but it looks like one of your plasma blasts hit his central nervous system. Suppressed his telekinesis, to make him lose control of the virus.” Logan leaves the window and comes closer to the bed. “This was a targeted attack, Alex. She had planned this. She used you to get back at Scott -”

Alex has to look away. He has to, because he knows that deep down, he still has feelings for Madelyne, always will. And he is ashamed, ashamed at being so weak. So easily manipulated. 

He is a liability to his family. He can barely breathe anymore. He does not want to breathe anymore.

“Does Scott-” he tries to ask, but it comes out as a whisper. 

A chance that Logan has exceptional hearing. “Your brother is in control, because he always is.” 

Logan closes his eyes. There is another pause. “But on the inside, he’s gone insane from the grief. Having to watch Nathan like this - it’s like watching his son being skinned alive.”

Alex’s breath catches in his throat. He is going to be sick. He wants this to stop, but he makes himself listen. 

And Logan goes on. “Jean and Rachel, and Gabriel, they’re all trying to help Nathan hold the virus but… it’s not working. Even Xavier couldn’t do anything… The virus is too strong. ”

“God.” Alex takes his head in his hands. He is dizzy, exhausted, and he has a headache. But it is nothing, compared to what his nephew is going through. All because of him, of how weak he is.

“He should be dying soon,” Logan adds, watching the struggle on Alex’s face. Death should sound like a mercy, especially with Resurrection following. It is anything but. Resurrection will not make this go away. Nathan may not remember this pain, but Scott will. Scott, Jean, Rachel… the entire family will.

Alex does not talk anymore, after that. He is too shocked, too ashamed, too disheartened. Eventually, he starts dozing off and finally falls asleep again.

Nathan Christopher Summers passes away twelve hours later. Alex is told, later, that his nephew was resurrected less than twenty-four hours after his death. Nobody in Krakoa protests the priority granted to him in the queue by the Quiet Council.

Alex spends the next few days going in and out of consciousness, under the effects of the shock, of drugs and various painkillers, as well as his little brother’s constant but powerful hold on his power. 

He thinks that he hears his older brother's voice, once. But he is too exhausted, and he lets this memory slip.

\-----

The next time he fully wakes up, his father is at his side. The presence of Gabriel’s power has faded away, and Alex feels a tightness in his heart. 

“Alex,” His father has approached at the sound of his son’s suddenly rapid, shallow breathing. 

“No, Dad, don’t-,” he replies, panting. “I don’t want to hurt you, Dad, please-”

Instead of leaving, Chris puts both hands on Alex’s shoulders. “Deep breaths, son. You have the suit, and Gabriel has managed to stabilize your power. You’re going to be okay.”

But Alex shakes his head. “What if I have another episode, what if-” 

“- you won’t, son. Not on my watch.” It may be the first time that Alex has heard that kind of words from his father, which somehow, makes them more powerful.

It takes a moment for the panic attack to dissolve, and his father is there at his side the entire time, holding him. In passing, Alex wonders if his father has done this before, a long time ago, back when he was a child.

“I don’t think I can go on like this, Dad,” he says after a while, once he is finally calm. “It would be more simple if I just -” 

“Alex. Stop this,” his father interrupts with that tone of authority that, surely, a long time ago, has belonged to Major Christopher Summers. He gazes into his son’s eyes, steadily and intently. 

Then, he heaves a sigh. “Look, son. I know I haven’t always been the father you and your brothers deserve but…” He takes Alex’s hand in his, and squeezes it. “There is no way I am going to let you give up.”

Alex shakes his head. “I’m too dangerous. What I did to Nathan -” his face is wearing an expression of disgust. Self-loathing. He will hate himself for this forever.

“- was not your fault. Nobody blames you for it.”

“But Scott…” Alex begins, but his voice trails off.

Chris closes his eyes. “Scott is worried about you, Alex. We all are. But nobody is mad at you. We just want to help.”

“What if there is no way to help me? Sometimes I-” He swallows. “- sometimes I think this will never get better. I’m too damaged, this - this can’t be fixed. Even Xavier, Emma have tried…”

“Is that why you have put in a request not to be resurrected?”

Alex blushes. Averts his eyes. His family was not supposed to find out. The request had been denied, anyway. “Did Hope…?”

“What do you think, Alex? You’re a Summers, and so is she. She was not going to keep her great-uncle’s death wish a secret.” 

Alex does not have anything to reply to that, and he retreats into his mind. 

Chris squeezes his hand again, trying to anchor him here and now.

“Son. Alex. I know you feel like you don't matter. But you do."

Alex purses his lips. He does not trust himself to speak.

"Alex, I need to apologize. You’ve been suffering, and I - I'm your father. And I haven’t been here for you. Not for a long, long time."

Alex shakes his head, again. "I'm a grown man, Dad. I should be able to take care of myself-" 

"Just because you're an adult, doesn't mean I'm no longer your father. I always will be." Not letting go of Alex's hand, he turns his head to the side, to look outside the window at the beautiful view on Earth and on the stars beyond. For a moment, his gaze loses itself somewhere far, far away in the universe. "Your mother would never have let that happen," he whispers, half to himself.

The ghost of a smile passes over his face then, but it disappears instantly, like a memory so faraway that it cannot be kept. "But this is going to change, alright? As soon as you’re well enough to travel, I’m taking you to the ship with me. Hepzibah has made some contacts already, some folks who could help. I don’t care if I have to cross the universe, I’m going to help you get through this. I’m going to take care of you, alright?”

There is something in his father’s voice, in his eyes. Something new, something that Alex does not think he has ever seen in his father before. Deep in his soul, live ghosts of memories from other times and other worlds, in which Alex remembers how it feels to be a father. How far a father would go, when it comes to his child. Maybe these memories are what makes Alex want to believe his father right now, want to have hope again, even if it is only for a moment.

For months now, Alex has felt like his mind has only been hanging by a thread. Maybe he has felt like that for an even longer time. Maybe it all dated back to that day their mother strapped him and Scott to that parachute and pushed them out of that plane, out of their life, trying to save them. But right now, with his father holding his hand, lending him strength, Alex allows himself to believe that this small flicker of hope will be enough to bring him back.

**Author's Note:**

> Another story that I just had to write because it would not leave me.  
> I am honestly not sure where this came from, except that I just have so many feels for poor Alex due to Hellions lately <3  
> And I wanted to use this as an opportunity to explore his relationship with his father - though I'm pretty sure they're all OOC in this. Also, this is heavily influenced by my own headcanons about what's going on with Alex, which I'm sure are going to turn out completely wrong in a couple of issues :-D  
> There is a second part to this with the rest of the cast, that I may post one day if I'm not too shy >.>;;


End file.
